Things I have learnt in the past two years...
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As well as all the obvious coping techniques and all of the hows and whys I have learnt whilst in the process of recovery, I feel that I have also learnt a few life lessons that could prove useful for others and it is also helpful for me to actually see them wrote down as it is there as a reminder for myself too. Lets just go straight into the things I have learnt over the past two years…
Its okay to admit things are not okay
Im one of those types of people that can't admit things aren't okay, but I'm also the kind of person who's face says everything Im feeling. The combination of those two aspects of myself always ends up with being asked if you're okay and having to grit your teeth and say every things fine. I don't really open up to people unless I'm 100% comfortable with them and I tend to push people away but after opening up to people I'm closest to Ive realised they haven't judged me and anyone that does judge me isn't worth my time. I now know that I can go to my mum when ever I feel like Im having a bad day and tell her and she will help me through it.
You will have bad days.
You aren't going to miraculously be able to get over everything as soon as you seek help. It takes time and there will be days that are worse than others but you've just go to acknowledge your feelings and not let it ruin the progress that you have been making. The best things in life do not come easy :)
If things get on top of me and I use an old eating disorder behaviour it is not the end of the world
Yes you do feel a bit of shame but do not let that shame push you back into your disorder. Accept that it has happened, try to recognise what has triggered it and think of what other coping method you can use the next time a trigger occurs.
Don't take your emotions out on those closest to you
This is something I used to do a lot and is something Im still trying to deal with now. I would get angry about everything and because I didn't have another outlet I would take it out on friends and family who didn't deserve it as they were only trying to help. I have had quite a few arguments and fall outs because of this and it is important to recognise when you're in the wrong and apologise for it and open up about why you acted out so that they can understand. Although I would advise talking about how you're feeling instead of waiting for an argument to occur haha.
People aren't talking about you/judging you as much as you think
I get paranoid way too quickly and my anxiety makes me feel like people are judging me or talking about me, which isn't realistic at all. There is no point worrying what others think of you because in all honesty they're probably too busy worrying what others will think of them instead of standing around judging you.
The thoughts you have about yourself and believe to be true are not always the truth
Everybody has insecurities and most of the time the people around you won't even be aware of the thing you dislike about yourself. When you look in the mirror and see your problem areas it doesn't mean everybody else notices it. It is hard to look in the mirror and not see/focus on the things you dislike. People are way too self critical and in some cases the things you hate about yourself will be the things others think are beautiful and unique.
Don't think you will be happier if you just lose a little bit of weight
Allow me to let you in on a secret… IT WONT MAKE YOU HAPPY. You'll always want to lose a little bit more. Work on accepting yourself as you already are and that will make you so much happier.
Don't let your illness define you.
Yes I might be somebody who has dealt with an eating disorder but my eating disorder is not the only thing I am. It is hard trying to see yourself with out your eating disorder and this was one of the very first things we had to do in my group therapy. It is so important that you see yourself as more than just your eating disorder because this makes it easier for you to recognise and separate your "eating disorder voice." to that of your own thoughts making recovery so much easier.
It has been a long two years of working towards recovery but I'm happy with the stage that I am at now and am thankful for the opportunities I was given by the hospital. I hope you've enjoyed all of this weeks posts and hope they may have helped you in some way and if you are trying to work out if you should speak out and get help then I hope these posts have helped to show you that it is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Lorna
xxx
Its okay to admit things are not okay
Im one of those types of people that can't admit things aren't okay, but I'm also the kind of person who's face says everything Im feeling. The combination of those two aspects of myself always ends up with being asked if you're okay and having to grit your teeth and say every things fine. I don't really open up to people unless I'm 100% comfortable with them and I tend to push people away but after opening up to people I'm closest to Ive realised they haven't judged me and anyone that does judge me isn't worth my time. I now know that I can go to my mum when ever I feel like Im having a bad day and tell her and she will help me through it.
You will have bad days.
You aren't going to miraculously be able to get over everything as soon as you seek help. It takes time and there will be days that are worse than others but you've just go to acknowledge your feelings and not let it ruin the progress that you have been making. The best things in life do not come easy :)
If things get on top of me and I use an old eating disorder behaviour it is not the end of the world
Yes you do feel a bit of shame but do not let that shame push you back into your disorder. Accept that it has happened, try to recognise what has triggered it and think of what other coping method you can use the next time a trigger occurs.
Don't take your emotions out on those closest to you
This is something I used to do a lot and is something Im still trying to deal with now. I would get angry about everything and because I didn't have another outlet I would take it out on friends and family who didn't deserve it as they were only trying to help. I have had quite a few arguments and fall outs because of this and it is important to recognise when you're in the wrong and apologise for it and open up about why you acted out so that they can understand. Although I would advise talking about how you're feeling instead of waiting for an argument to occur haha.
People aren't talking about you/judging you as much as you think
I get paranoid way too quickly and my anxiety makes me feel like people are judging me or talking about me, which isn't realistic at all. There is no point worrying what others think of you because in all honesty they're probably too busy worrying what others will think of them instead of standing around judging you.
The thoughts you have about yourself and believe to be true are not always the truth
Everybody has insecurities and most of the time the people around you won't even be aware of the thing you dislike about yourself. When you look in the mirror and see your problem areas it doesn't mean everybody else notices it. It is hard to look in the mirror and not see/focus on the things you dislike. People are way too self critical and in some cases the things you hate about yourself will be the things others think are beautiful and unique.
Don't think you will be happier if you just lose a little bit of weight
Allow me to let you in on a secret… IT WONT MAKE YOU HAPPY. You'll always want to lose a little bit more. Work on accepting yourself as you already are and that will make you so much happier.
Don't let your illness define you.
Yes I might be somebody who has dealt with an eating disorder but my eating disorder is not the only thing I am. It is hard trying to see yourself with out your eating disorder and this was one of the very first things we had to do in my group therapy. It is so important that you see yourself as more than just your eating disorder because this makes it easier for you to recognise and separate your "eating disorder voice." to that of your own thoughts making recovery so much easier.
It has been a long two years of working towards recovery but I'm happy with the stage that I am at now and am thankful for the opportunities I was given by the hospital. I hope you've enjoyed all of this weeks posts and hope they may have helped you in some way and if you are trying to work out if you should speak out and get help then I hope these posts have helped to show you that it is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Lorna
xxx
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