Triggers
15:23
While I am in the process of recovery and therapy I feel like it is important to identify what triggers my eating disorder behaviour as if I take notice of these triggers when they occur, I can find a way to distract myself and put a stop to the disordered habits. Triggers can be different for every person as we have all had different experiences that effect us.
My Personal Triggers
Anxiety: My anxiety triggers me a lot as when I get anxious it makes me feel uncomfortable and I always fall back to purging as a way to deal with the anxious feelings.
Uni deadlines: When I have a lot of deadlines for university that are around the same time I get really stressed and find it difficult dealing with everything thats happening at the time so I find myself stressing about every thing including my weight and I tend to lock myself away from everyone and then end up being alone with my own thoughts and I also use the deadlines as an excuse to lock myself away from everyone which doesn't help with my mood and I then end up feeling bad about myself.
Seeing people from high school: If I see people from high school it can be a big trigger to me, especially if its one of the people that made mean comments towards me because then the insults I was told come back to me and make me feel how I did all those years ago and I hate it.
Weighing myself/Being weighed: Again this is a big trigger to me as it will be for a lot of people. I try not to weigh myself as I know it won't help me because if I have put weight on it makes me feel bad about myself and guilty and if I have lost weight it makes me feel proud and I then want to continue losing weight so either way its not helpful. Also if I know I'm going to be weighed by the doctors it effects my eating habits because I don't want them to think I'm fat. If I'm being weighed by the doctors I ask not to know my weight just because I personally think it helps me to not know.
Upcoming events: For example when my prom was coming up was one of the times my disorder was at its worst because I wanted to have a little dress so I would constantly be worrying about food.
Compliments and insults in regards to weight: If someone insults my weight obviously it makes me feel bad and paranoid triggering my disorder but also I find that if someone compliments my weight for example if they call me "curvy." I don't like it because my disorder sees it as being fat or if they compliment me on being little or from losing weight I like it so it makes me want to keep losing the weight or at least maintain my weight.
I do have other triggers too but the ones above would be my main ones that I need to work on becoming comfortable with and deal with them in better ways so that when any of those things to occur I can make sure I don't fall back into my disorder.
My Personal Triggers
Anxiety: My anxiety triggers me a lot as when I get anxious it makes me feel uncomfortable and I always fall back to purging as a way to deal with the anxious feelings.
Uni deadlines: When I have a lot of deadlines for university that are around the same time I get really stressed and find it difficult dealing with everything thats happening at the time so I find myself stressing about every thing including my weight and I tend to lock myself away from everyone and then end up being alone with my own thoughts and I also use the deadlines as an excuse to lock myself away from everyone which doesn't help with my mood and I then end up feeling bad about myself.
Seeing people from high school: If I see people from high school it can be a big trigger to me, especially if its one of the people that made mean comments towards me because then the insults I was told come back to me and make me feel how I did all those years ago and I hate it.
Weighing myself/Being weighed: Again this is a big trigger to me as it will be for a lot of people. I try not to weigh myself as I know it won't help me because if I have put weight on it makes me feel bad about myself and guilty and if I have lost weight it makes me feel proud and I then want to continue losing weight so either way its not helpful. Also if I know I'm going to be weighed by the doctors it effects my eating habits because I don't want them to think I'm fat. If I'm being weighed by the doctors I ask not to know my weight just because I personally think it helps me to not know.
Upcoming events: For example when my prom was coming up was one of the times my disorder was at its worst because I wanted to have a little dress so I would constantly be worrying about food.
Compliments and insults in regards to weight: If someone insults my weight obviously it makes me feel bad and paranoid triggering my disorder but also I find that if someone compliments my weight for example if they call me "curvy." I don't like it because my disorder sees it as being fat or if they compliment me on being little or from losing weight I like it so it makes me want to keep losing the weight or at least maintain my weight.
I do have other triggers too but the ones above would be my main ones that I need to work on becoming comfortable with and deal with them in better ways so that when any of those things to occur I can make sure I don't fall back into my disorder.
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